Okay, It's Easter eve. A long time ago Jesus was in Hell tonight but tomorrow we celebrate, at least some do, Jesus's resurrection from the dead. It's my guess, unless you're very young, you've heard the story of Jesus's good life if you've ever been to church. Well, He died. That was yesterday. I think you all know, unless you don't know, why Jesus died. I joined Facebook. I'm glad I did. I've gotten back in touch with a lot of friends I had pretty much forgotten about. I'm coming out of my shell. I made a new friend awhile back. He has a way of bringing me out of hiding. I finished up with therapy. Not to brag. I'm coping with life on my own now. I'm doing okay. There is something about loneliness that helps me to appreciate all those who love me. It's a silly world. It seems like we are never alone until we are. What do we do then? Sometimes we make mistakes. Forgiveness is the greatest gift of all. A long time ago I met myself. I'm still living with him. With all my problems and accepting myself just the way I am with no strings and no catch.  Todd Rundgren has a song where he asks "What does it mean to love?" Well, life is a nut-cracker. Sooner or later she will break the shell around you.

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

The truest friend you can ever have besides the Lord is yourself. If you know yourself there is nothing else you need to know. Then you can be yourself and pretty much choose your friends. But honestly, I don't know how to be a friend. I keep trying but I might not ever know what people think of me really. It bothers me a little but all I can do is be myself. It's time to end a friendship when you can't understand that person any more. And it might take years to find that out. People can hide things about themselves so deep that those things don't show. But when you no longer understand that person no matter what you try, it's time to end or at least put some distance between the you and him/her. When your feelings get hurt again and again, after years of friendship, it's time. When things get weird in the way that person expresses him self it's time. It's sad because no doubt emotional energy has been expended but when your emotional health is at risk, it's time. So that's what I'm doing. I'm playing a game. I'm waiting to see if my friend wants to be my friend.

This is for you, Marie

I still remember when we met at a party at your apartment and I was the only guy there. It was snowing that night and as Susan and I were in my car on the way I did what my Step Dad Roger used to do - test out the conditions. Susan said Kevin!, don't do that!, as I was in the middle of the street and a car was coming. I drank a little too much beer and smoked a little too much pot but you were the center of my attention. When I put a record on I was afraid I would mess up your plant and you laughed and said I wasn't going to hurt it. The next time I saw you was when you and Susan came to visit me at work. I was happy to see you. I guess you thought Susan and I were still a thing. You sat down at the opposite end of the studio but when I looked at you I wanted you to be mine. Susan showed me some pictures she took of you. I saw someone who was happy and free. I found out somehow that you had moved in with Susan. I looked up toward Heaven and said your name. I moved in the same apartments because I wanted to be near you. Thanks for letting me visit but I really hated it when there were other guys visiting, I guess you could tell. When we were at the pool together I didn't know if I could handle my growing feelings for you, they were so intense. I wanted to swim with you and you agreed as long as I didn't dunk you. All I could do was look into your eyes. When I put my kitten in the water you made a tent for it to stand under so it would feel better and laughed about it. After Susan moved out I came over one night to visit and I don't know if you knew it but at your door I did my imitation of Todd Rundgren. It was just a pose but it said what I wanted it to. You said "Get in here!" and let me in. You said "We don't even know eachother!" I knew enough. I wanted you more that I had ever wanted anyone. I didn't mind writing all those letters to you after you moved away. I don't know where you are now. You've kind of disappeared. I'd write some more but I've lost your parents address, I'm not very organized. I hope you don't mind - I've searched for you on the web. I'll always love you. Sometimes I see girls at the store who kind of look like you but they are not you. I'm sorry if I scared you when I took that road trip hitch hiking up to see you. I'd never do anything you didn't want, you know that. I'd never lie to you and I've never tried to hurt you, not even in my thoughts. I hope you are happy. I'm here at the same place if you want to call or come by. I love you, still. Kevin